Sorigacious

New York kills slowly

theclushlife:

I took your seat and you made your way into my lap. Our fingers laced and I continued my banter. We had moved into our past. Things were as everyone remembered them and as we remembered each other. 

We made no show of this affection but our breathing stopped, allowing us to restart it together. Our chests falling in sync. Only we knew what was going on. I let go of your hands and let my own wonder up your arm. I wanted to feel you again, to defy time, and welcome you back into an uneasy and unfinished silent romance.

We drank, we ate, we laughed, we touched. I spent that night sprawled out on the floor of your brother’s room, kept awake by the low buzz of his snores. I moved and turned failing to prompt myself into sleep. I grabbed at my phone checking the time.

3:14 AM

I slid my phone open, scrolling down to my contacts and stopping at your name. The harsh light hurt but I took my time.

I could have said nothing.

I could have tucked my phone into my pocket and fought my way into slumber. I could have let things stay as they were and in the morning returned to our uneasy, unspoken, history. 

I pressed enter

Are you awake?

Yeah, just laying in bed

I’m on your brother’s floor. I could use a bed..

Before you could respond I changed the direction as not to betray my intentions. 

When are you leaving?

My mom is dropping me off at the airport at 7. I’ll be up before then

Oh, OK. Well I wanna see you and say bye before you leave

Come meet me down downstairs

I paused taking in the invitation. I raced downstairs trying to avoid the possibility of running into your with your door open, an untamed possibility. I made my way to the couch forcing myself to seem causal. And then I felt your hand. 

They ran trails through my hair. I turned looking up to glean whether you had caught me rushing. If you had your countenance didn’t betray you. 

You walked over. Slow and silent. Your undershirt sat snugly around your rounded breasts and tight stomach. You wore a bra and I couldn’t help but wonder if that had been intentional. Did you fear the implicit intimacy of being just a little exposed?

You positioned yourself at the opposite end of the couch and draped your bare legs over my own. This is who we are, an awkward tango of proximity and distance. 

I worked my hands gently up your legs tracing the curvature and tone of your muscles. 

I’m going to miss you

I paused, failing to make eye contact

It’s been nice seeing you

You scooted forward holding my arms for leverage

Yeah. I almost don’t want to go home now.

Oh yeah? Well you got me for the next few hours. That’s nice I guess.

Yeah. That is nice.

You grabbed me again scooting forward and resting your head on my chest. My hands slid forward, a quiet devouring of every inch of your legs. My hands met around your waist, laced and resting on that grey area between skin and clothes. I rested my chin on your head and with the slightest pressure inched your toward me. I needed you closer. 

I don’t know how much time elapsed and I don’t know if you were the provocateur, or if I just…reacted. But I slid my hands under your shirt, running up your curved spine. I stopped at the hard raised border of your bra. I expected a reaction, a question, hesitation, repulsion. But you didn’t even look up at me. Your head moved, and you placed your lips against my collar bone. It was all the permission I needed. 

I worked the clasps of your bra, feeling the surging tension running between your shoulders. Your lips betrayed your hesitance. Skimming my skin you found my neck laying on it profound kisses. The first and last. 

One of the most beautiful things about wrestling is that it is all over the world. Wrestling is arguably the worlds oldest sport (second maybe to running) and it continues to be practiced all over the world, from FILA styles like Greco-Roman and Freestyle, to folk styles that are unique to different cultures and parts of the globe. To wrestle you only need your body and a buddy. You can wrestle on grass, in sand, or on a mat. It is one of the toughest and most dynamic sports; it challenges the body and the mind. It’s like a physical chess game, where you are both the player and the pieces and the mat is your board. I miss it terribly, and it’s a shame that the wrestling community is steadily shrinking.